MERCURO (Text Adaption) : ACT 1 : SCENES 2 & 3

The first act of the Tokyo Grand Guignol's inaugural play continues: Mikami's dilemma spirals as a sickly underworld of the classroom is unveiled through an unusual extracurricular meeting...

The school bell’s continual ringing bridges the two scenes.

The stage lights return to show all the nameless students, excluding student #3 (who is still at the nurse’s office), lounging around the classroom after school hours. They have their legs kicked up on their desks while they flip through an assortment of mangas, movie magazines and other publications.

STUDENT #6:
Alright, you done yet? Let’s go to the next page.

STUDENT #4:
Just a minute! I’m almost done…

STUDENT #6:
Not again… Why’re you so slow at this?

STUDENT #4:
I’ll be done soon, I just need a second!

STUDENT #6:
Fine… Here, I’ll read first and then pass it to you!

STUDENT #4:
Okay, that works!

STUDENT #6:
I just don’t like reading with others… It’s distracting…

STUDENT #4:
I understand, I’ll try to read faster… But get a look at this picture! I think it’s beautiful… It’s amazing…

STUDENT #6:
Huh?

STUDENT #4:
Look! Right here, Marlene Dietrich in Morocco!

STUDENT #6:
Woah!

STUDENT #4:
I know right, it’s so cool. Gary Cooper was her co-star, this was back when he was young and fashionable!

STUDENT #6:
Wait… So you’re into old crones?… You’re kidding me.

STUDENT #4:
Fine then, who do you like, huh?

STUDENT #6:
Brooke Shields of course, you dummy!

STUDENT #4:
Brooke Shields??

STUDENT #6:
Oh yeah. Here, get a look at this! {Flips the book’s pages.} Auughh~

STUDENT #4:
Hmm… She’s okay I guess…

STUDENT #6:
Of course she is, stupid. You know nothing good comes from liking grannies!

STUDENT #4:
Hm… I guess you’re right…

STUDENT #6:
Yeah, those old hags? Leave them for Kinbuchi! {Kinbuchi presumed to be the teacher’s name.}

STUDENT #4:
No way! She’s too good to be wasted on someone like him!

STUDENT #6:
E~hehehehe… You think Kinbuchi might have a girlfriend?

STUDENT #4:
Oh nuh-uh! There’s no way.

STUDENT #6:
Hmmm… Guess you’re right… We’ve been having to do those weekly syphilis classes.

STUDENT #4:
God yeah, they’re so monotonous!

STUDENT #2:
{Joining in on their conversation.} Oh on that note! I saw a man who was missing his nose one time!

STUDENT #4:
Really?

STUDENT #6:
Eugh! Gross!

STUDENT #2:
You know Sato from class B? He apparently broke his nose in a soccer game, but I’ve wondered… It seems to be a bit… lower than it was before.

STUDENT #6:
W-Wait a second! So you’re saying he did it with a girl?

STUDENT #2:
That seems to be the case… yeah…

STUDENT #4:
Huh…

STUDENT #6:
Hm… But if he’s sick, we’ll all catch it too… And they’d have to close the school.

STUDENT #2:
They’d close the school…

STUDENT #4 and STUDENT #6:
Mmmm…

STUDENT #2:
I bet that one would make the papers.

STUDENT #6:
Hehehehe… Kinbuchi would have no clue what hit him!

STUDENT #2:
There’s that Mikami kid too, our new transfer student… I’ve been wondering about him.

STUDENT #6:
Oh yeah, him. He’s always looking out the window.

STUDENT #2:
I heard rumors that he was searching for someone.

STUDENT #6:
Who though?

STUDENT #2:
I don’t know…

STUDENT #4:
You think he’s a virgin?

STUDENT #6:
Oh, obviously. Boys like him are never popular.

STUDENT #2:
Yeah… Whenever I see him I can’t help but get a bad feeling… It’s something about him…

STUDENT #4:
Yeah yeah.

STUDENT #5:
Hey uh… Sorry to interrupt you all, but are we staying for extracurricular?

STUDENT #2:
Of course! It’s gonna be one of Chinkajyon’s classes after all!

STUDENT #4:
What do you think will be today’s subject?

STUDENT #2:
Well, last week’s was about society under capitalism… So today…

The clock strikes 8 and the students fall silent, stopping their conversation midway through to listen carefully. One of the students draws a whistle that he sharply blows through to give a signal to the other students. The boys all take their chairs and line them in a set of two rows in front of the teacher’s desk so they face one another. The whistle’s call is shrill with a distinct ‘beep beep’ in its blowing. Intense percussive music fills the stage as the students shake their fists and stomp their feet, calling out a certain name in unison.

STUDENTS {in unison}:
Chinkajyon! Chinkajyon! Chinkajyon!…

The music builds and the blackboard flips over with a low groaning creak, the students shouting together in excitement. A hobo is resting on the other side of the blackboard, eating from a bento box while dressed in a shredded hakama with a women’s juban. Every inch of his clothing is covered in filth. As soon as the blackboard lands, the hobo opens his mouth and lets out a roaring cackle. His laugh is unnatural, echoing through the stage like a part of the soundtrack rather than coming out as a regular human voice. His laugh is a prerecorded tape, namely a clipping of Vincent Price’s laughter from the ending of Michael Jackson’s Thriller. Each time he laughs, the same recording is played over the speaker system.

The students collectively respond to the hobo’s chilling laughter by raising a single hand.

STUDENTS {in unison}:
Heil Chinkajyon!

CHINKAJYON:
Hmmrrnn… Heil. {Continues to eat from his bento box.} Aaahhh… {Scratches at his chest.} Errghhhh… {Scratches his butt.} …Right so the week before last we discussed the improvement of the social status of vagabonds and the privileges of a beggar’s society… Ahh yes, and then we discussed the history of women as expressed through catnip… Then last week we covered the hobo society’s trends and countermeasures to capitalism… Well, what did you think?

The students all clap.

CHINKAJYON:
Right then… For this week’s lecture… Ah yes, this week, finally… We’ll erm, we’ll be covering a topic I know you’ve all been waiting for… Onanism: From Meaning to Practice!

The students all clap again.

CHINKAJYON:
Okay now, let’s go ahead and get this lesson started… Everyone here who’s already masturbated before, raise your hands!

There’s a pause, none of the students raise their hands. The beggar laughs again.

CHINKAJYON:
Come on now, everybody masturbates, even babies and little children.

STUDENT #4:
{Raising his hand.} Chinkajyon!

CHINKAJYON:
{Pointing to the student.} Yes!

STUDENT #4:
I was told that according to the Old Testament, masturbation is a sin that evokes the wrath of Jehovah!

CHINKAJYON:
Ah, I’m guessing that’s another one from Kinbuchi? …Listen carefully, all Kinbuchi does is feed you lies, so you have to be careful around him!

The students all clap to his response.

CHINKAJYON:
It is true that the term for onanism came from the Old Testament’s Onan, an envy-filled young man who was ordered by his parents to sleep with Tamar, the widow of his eldest brother, to conceive a child in his place. When he came close to climaxing, he had enough and pulled out, intentionally spilling his seed to the ground. He was killed for disobeying his parents’ orders. The crime wasn’t actually masturbation however, but rather pulling out to abort the conception. Now if we look to Diogenes the Cynic, who preferred to lead a life of isolation from a barrel, he and his students masturbated at the plaza of Rome in broad daylight for anyone to see. When turning to the surrounding onlookers, he was reported to have said “If only it were as easy to banish hunger by rubbing my belly”… What he said was true.

Finishing his lunch, the beggar steps to the top of the teacher’s desk.

CHINKAJYON:
Alright! Let’s skip the preamble and get straight into the lesson.

As the beggar says this, he nods his head to the students. They all nod back to him. The beggar changes to shaking his hips from side to side, the students following him along again, mimicking him. Stretching his arms out to the students, he shakes his wrists, the students following again as they continue to mimic.

CHINKAJYON:
And now, open your zippers, stick your hands in!…

The students become nervous.

CHINKAJYON:
Charge!!!

With the hobo’s command the students all begin to violently masturbate, music building as if following the same order. The hobo gleefully skips from one student to the next. The music continues until the students finally near climax, ceasing as soon as they all ejaculate simultaneously. Jets of cum fly throughout the air, the hobo basking himself in a shower of sperm. The students quietly moan as soft music fades in the background.

CHINKAJYON:
In the bathroom you’ll find a door in the third stall from the right with a sign. Its lettering is in bright red and says “Out of Order”. That stall is my favorite public toilet. I wrote that sign myself four years ago without anyone else’s knowledge. It was around the winter of that year. Nobody outside of me has used that toilet since then. Every day I sleep and wake behind that stall door to the barred world beyond its window. Through that small, latticed lens I can only see the ground by the edge of a garbage dump, and the two frail weeds that grow from it. Sometimes I’ll see trash crumble at the roots of the weeds, where the scrapped bulbs of Welsh onions and chestnut-colored shards of beer bottles sparkle in the blinding sunlight. It’s the scene I look to with awe while I piss into the white toilet bowl. The bowl with a touch as cold and smooth as snow that lets out a low rumble each time I cling to it. Kicking at the door while I remember that day… But now I can’t remember anything, not when I walk down the streets, not when I shit in the town square, I still see that sign on the third stall to the right, hand painted on my favorite public toilet, the words “Out of Order” always floating inverted in my peripheral vision, overlapping that patch of ground I see through the barred window, where the rotten food and beer bottle shards sparkle in the blaring sun, all divided to lattice squares that are seared into the backs of my eyelids, sticking, refusing to go away no matter where I look… I realized that I… I… I-I-I am… I… I… I… I am a… That… a… I… That… I… Am… A… I am a toilet… 

After stammering his way through the last few lines, the beggar suddenly gapes his mouth to laugh again before hurriedly leaping behind the desk to hide. The door at the side of the room slowly creaks open, Mikami glancing around as he enters with precaution. Stepping up to the teacher’s desk, he opens the drawers and rummages through them. Mikami eventually stops, freezing with a vacant expression while staring blankly to the audience ahead of him. Facing the front of the stage, he slowly approaches it one step at a time, as if he’s savoring every step he takes.

The sound of wind slowly fades in. With each step Mikami takes forward, the wind grows stronger. Music mixes with the strengthening wind, and suddenly a town in the winter forms behind Mikami with the arrival of a crowd of people from both sides of the stage. They walk in from opposite ends, crossing over each other while walking in a continual stream. Mikami looks to a woman in the crowd with surprise and attempts to call to her.

MIKAMI:
Sister, sister!!

Not noticing Mikami’s calls, the woman starts to leave the stage.

MIKAMI:
No wait, it’s me, Yukio!! Sister, sister!!

The woman stops in place, turning out to be Mikami’s elder sister. The two are left stranded in the darkness, only accompanied by the framing of two suspended stage lights. The rest of the passing crowd had since left the stage, the music exiting with them. When she stops walking, Mikami’s sister doesn’t turn to face him.

MIKAMI:
Sister… what happened with you?!

MIKAMI’S SISTER:
…

MIKAMI:
…

MIKAMI’S SISTER:
…

MIKAMI:
… I was looking for you these past two years.

MIKAMI’S SISTER:
…

MIKAMI:
What’s wrong? It’s me, Yukio! You haven’t forgotten me, have you?

MIKAMI’S SISTER:
…

MIKAMI:
… Everything had died. The cat, the grass in the garden, it all withered away…

MIKAMI’S SISTER:
…

MIKAMI:
… Ms. Yuko* married…

MIKAMI’S SISTER:
…

MIKAMI:
Surely you can understand what I was feeling then!

MIKAMI’S SISTER:
…

MIKAMI:
Where were you? Who were you with and where’d you go?

MIKAMI’S SISTER:
…

MIKAMI:
Look at the holes in your suitcase, it’s all worn out.

Mikami’s sister shifts the suitcase from her left hand to her right.

MIKAMI:
You’re going to leave me again, aren’t you?

MIKAMI’S SISTER:
…

MIKAMI:
So where’s it now? Huh? Answer me!! Where are you going!!

Mikami’s sister slowly turns her head to face the audience, never looking to Mikami.

MIKAMI:
{Speaking quietly while regrouping himself.} … Let’s go home.

MIKAMI’S SISTER:
…

MIKAMI:
… Let’s go home together… Home…

MIKAMI’S SISTER:
…

MIKAMI:
Come on, sister, come home with me…

MIKAMI’S SISTER:
…

MIKAMI:
Sister? Why aren’t you answering me?? Sister! Sister answer m-

Mikami’s voice lowers to a murmur when he notices the sound of a faint whistling that lurks amidst his words. Slipping out through her lips from a gap between her teeth, Mikami’s sister whistles a melody that’s quieter than any normal whistling. Upon closer hearing, the viewer can recognize that it’s the opening theme to the Henri Verneuil film Des Gens Sans Importance. Mikami stands in place, focused on his sister’s lips. Eventually, she shifts her eyes to the breast of Mikami’s uniform. Mikami follows along and looks down to see that the second button is missing. He looks back up to his sister with confusion, her eyes remaining on his chest.

MIKAMI:
… No, it fell somewhere…

His sister continues to stare, her look coming across as a harshly scolding glare over the fact that he lost a single button.

Mikami starts to panic.

MIKAMI:
No, this can’t be right… It was here just a minute ago… Yeah, I know it, it’s somewhere around here…

Mikami crawls to the ground to look for his button. Despite his searching, he can’t find it.

MIKAMI:
It’s weird, I know… It was here just a minute ago… If I dropped it, it wouldn’t be far away… It’s strange…

Mikami looks up to the place where his sister was standing to find that she’s gone again, a suspended light beaming down as her only remnant. Mikami stares to the light in awe as his sister’s whistling leads to the full Des Gens Sans Importance theme. Eventually he cries out over the music and attempts to chase after her only to be mobbed by the prior winter crowd as they flood back in from the side of the stage that she left. He’s drowned out with loudly nagging repetitions of “I love you” and “I love you too” amidst the townspeople. The background music only continues to increase in volume, eventually becoming piercing over Mikami’s presumed suffocating isolation.

The music continues as the lights steadily dim. Eventually when the scene is darkened, the music follows suit and fades out.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Fade to black ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

The teacher’s voice emerges from the darkness. He’s reading out loud a text in Turkish. For each section he recites, the students echo what they hear. The lights swell back into view to reveal the classroom.

Class has resumed. The teacher is uncharacteristically​ cheerful, showing a clear interest in the Turkish language. His mood clouds over quickly however when he shows a sour expression, Mikami’s looking out the window with his telescope again.

TEACHER:
Hey! You! Mikami!

STUDENTS {in unison}:
Hey! You! Mikami!

TEACHER:
What are you looking at!

STUDENTS {in unison}:
What are you looking—

TEACHER:
Enough!

MIKAMI:
…

STUDENTS:
…

TEACHER:
… What are you-… What are you looking at?

MIKAMI:
A landscape of the district.

TEACHER:
Landscapes eh?… They must be interesting, no?

MIKAMI:
Absolutely, it’s a view where everything’s upside down. The forests, the streets, the people.

TEACHER:
Really… What type of lens are you using?

MIKAMI:
A windowpane.

TEACHER:
A windowpane… But that would just be regular glass?

MIKAMI:
Yes, you’re right. When I shattered this window the other day, there was one piece of glass that shined so beautifully that I couldn’t help but to take it for installation.

TEACHER:
But regular glass can’t mirror an image.

MIKAMI:
You’re right, I was lying.

TEACHER:
…

MIKAMI:
… But you see, this glass is exquisite glass.

TEACHER:
Then what are you actually looking at through your exquisite glass?

MIKAMI:
Something distant.

TEACHER:
You can’t see distant things through regular glass.

MIKAMI:
Very close, yet so far away.

TEACHER:
What?

MIKAMI:
No, to be more accurate, the farthest place on the world. What would be the end of the Earth for me.

TEACHER:
Where would that be?

MIKAMI:
Over there.

TEACHER:
Where?

MIKAMI:
Right here… {Points to his own back.} My back.

TEACHER:
I see… So your glass is a magic mirror.

MIKAMI:
No. After all… A pane of glass is just a pane of glass.

TEACHER:
Then how are you able to see your own back?

MIKAMI:
Yes… Maybe my eyeballs are the lens?

TEACHER:
Hm?

MIKAMI:
Well, it’s my eyes, I was thinking that if they became lenses…

TEACHER:
What are you even on about?

MIKAMI:
You see... The things that are far away feel close, and the things that are close are at a distance…

TEACHER:
Your sense of perspective is off.

MIKAMI:
Yes. I reach out for what’s right in front of me, but it’s just out of grasp where I can’t take it.

TEACHER:
How strange.

MIKAMI:
Strange… In the rush of fear things seem far away, but then the boring out of reach things that I don’t want are closer than ever.

TEACHER:
I think you’re a bit tired. Newly transferred students like you are usually on the irritable side. In your case there’s also the whole circumstance around your sister.

MIKAMI:
That has nothing to do with this, I was just talking about the way my eyes could work.

TEACHER:
Really? In that case you don’t need that telescope.

MIKAMI:
It’s not like that. I always follow the same procedure when I lose something. Like, let’s say, I lost something in my room. I look to the mirror to search the room that’s in there. With my clear eyeglasses on, I see it upside down from the space between my legs. Only then does the thing I’m looking for show up in plain sight. It doesn’t matter how long I could’ve spent overturning the drawers, it’s only when I follow that procedure that the thing shows up where I can find it.

TEACHER:
And?

MIKAMI:
In short… That’s how I’m searching for my sister.

TEACHER:
… Mikami, my boy. I can understand what you’re feeling to an extent, it’s why I made no comment on it the past few days, but you’re not going to find her through such a childish way.

MIKAMI:
No, I’m certain I’ll find her.

TEACHER:
Class is in session. You might’ve just transferred here, but I’m not going to pamper you. From here on out, you’re forbidden from using your telescope in class!

MIKAMI:
But teacher-

TEACHER:
You talk too much. What you should be putting your effort into right now is catching up with the rest of the class as soon as possible. Is that clear!

MIKAMI:
Teacher!

The teacher ignores Mikami, returning to his Turkish lessons.

MIKAMI:
Teacher!

TEACHER:
…

MIKAMI:
Teacher!

TEACHER:
…

MIKAMI:
{Slowly raising his hand with a cheerful expression.} Teacher!

TEACHER:
{Reluctantly turning back around.} … Yes… Mikami.

MIKAMI:
… {Stands formally.}

TEACHER:
What is it?

MIKAMI:
Uh…

TEACHER:
Do you still have something to say?

MIKAMI:
Lemme see… {Mikami begins to smirk.}

TEACHER:
What is it? Just spit it out already!

MIKAMI:
That’s… erm… {He grins even more.} Boring.

The other students all share the same unusual reaction to Mikami’s one-word response, each one taking their respective pencil case to rattle as they shout out like machines. The teacher turns pale.

STUDENT #1:
Boring!

STUDENT #2:
Boring!

STUDENT #3:
Boring!

STUDENT #4:
Boring!

STUDENT #5:
Boring!

STUDENT #6:
Boring!

TEACHER:
Shut up! Silence!

The students freeze in place.

TEACHER:
Mikami, who are you mimicking here?

MIKAMI:
… Teacher… My dear teacher… When I was looking through my telescope earlier, what I actually saw was… your face.

Music. The students all throw their notebooks into the air, pages unravelling as loose papers dance and flutter overhead. Amidst the flowing pages, Mikami slowly places his telescope back over his eye and points it directly to the teacher’s face. The scene closes in on two suspension lights before the stage goes completely dark.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Curtain ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Thus concludes act one.
A break follows as the set is prepared for the shift from act one to act two. With the play’s 1985 rerun, a magic show is performed between acts to entertain the crowd.

To be continued…

NOTE:
Upon recommendation, one line was ultimately excluded to maintain the flow of the script. Before the line “I see… So your glass is a magic mirror”, the teacher dismissively laughs to Mikami’s claim of seeing his own back with a line that roughly approximates to “Are you trying to see the fly on your back?”. I’d written several iterations to attempt to localize it to something more natural, namely “So what is it then, are you trying to count the flies on your back?”, but none of the attempts really landed as intended.

: CREDITS :
Text adaption and image digitizations (unless stated otherwise)** are by Aaron Dylan Kearns.

*There are multiple spellings of the Yuko name in kanji. The specific one in the play is (夕子, 夕子さん in full), a variant that means Evening Child, I assume it’s in relation to how the sister had eloped into the night.

**The image of the students gathered around the desk is sourced from Dilettante Genet’s video on Mercuro. It’s the only image I was unable to digitize as the photo is split between the book’s spine. While I’ve digitized all the other production stills personally, I didn’t want to risk damaging the book for the sake of obtaining that one photo.

Thanks to Yu Hirayama of the Suikazura label (known for their music compilations, the subculture magazine FEECO and the Steven Stapleton biography Nurse With Wound評伝) for personally providing a copy of the Mercuro volume of June magazine and the Roadsiders article The Time That The Flyers Came To Town.

Text and media sources:
★ June Vol. 17 : February 1986
★ Keikotoendlessart’s “東京グランギニョル Endless Art” blog on blogspot
★ The Time That The Flyers Came To Town
★ 2-MINUS : Ameya! Style
★ “東京グランギニョール「マーキュロイド」徳光番組 1985.06.09” : Uploaded by YouTube user 1941-1966 inu
★ Yaso Magazine Vol. 28